Day 444 – The Heart’s Deepest Desire

And then the moments come when there is no storm. Freedom, freedom, freedom. The heaviness falls away.

Do you dare to think about your heart’s deepest desire? Do you dare to contemplate dreams come true? There are moments of bliss, like now, when your mind will take you there.

A pressure behind the eyeballs is released. A forehead is relaxed. Shoulders feel light. And you are able to go to a place where you can truly think.

And in my thoughts, I see freedom. There is no past. Body is healthy and free. Heartache is just an old story to tell to the young people. And You and I, God, we are one. My will is meshed with Yours. Our Will is one and the same.

And Our will is that we would live a life where the highest possible good of all affected by us is manifested with Our every thought and action. I ask what I should do with my life, and You ask me what my heart’s deepest desire is.

And I hadn’t thought about it in a while. What would absolutely delight me? I saw it this time, in my mind’s eye… My heart’s deepest desire was to be free. My heart’s deepest desire was to fully embody all that I am and to make so many things: books, movies, art; and to be good at making such things. My heart’s deepest desire was to Love so deeply and to be Loved… Oh, to commune with so many on this Earth. My heart’s deepest desire was to walk the Earth with an easy smile inside me, to submerge myself in a Hawaiian ocean and feel the water on my forehead. To kiss an open mouth and exchange breath with a True Beloved.

You granted me this image, a guidepost to walk towards. And You say that the image has already been complete in a place beyond space and time, but in this world of time, it will take some time to unfold.

I am not afraid anymore. I am back on track. My heart is back alive. I have found the very center of my being. It has been here all along; a place where everything makes sense. Oh, I wish I could explain it to you. I wish I had the words. But it’s not a word. It’s a feeling. It’s a tone. It’s a mood. It’s a color. It is a state of being completely unworried about what will happen next.

You will die, guaranteed. Maybe in your sleep. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe in very old age or in an accident or a war, but when you are here, where I am right now, it doesn’t matter how you die. You don’t need to understand anything. Here and now, in this space, all that matters is living; and while one is alive, all that matters is the unfoldment of one’s heart’s deepest desire.

Life, I Breathe into you with all of me, with every single ounce of my Blessed Being. I let go of forcing and wishing and doubting and crying, and I allow you to carry me. I focus my will on the things that I would do with the time I have, and I thank you for this very special moment. I thank you for so many very special moments where you have brought me back home…

Ameen.

Day 444
The Heart’s Deepest Desire