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Day 437 – For Hawaii

May 13, 2016

I’m sitting at my favorite place in Oahu – Fort Derussy Beach Park. Under a tamarind tree. Birds are eating the fallen tamarinds around me. In view, the deep blue ocean sends foamy white waves towards the sandy beach. The clear, light blue sky holds clouds that look like marshmallows.

I am thinking about what an interesting word “marshmallow” is. I am looking at the wind blow through the leaves of so many trees around me.

It is easy to fall in love with life when you are sitting under a tree next to a beach in Hawaii.

I just got through meditating for hours. I was trying to connect with God. If there is anywhere in the world where I can connect with God, it is here. This is the most peaceful place that I’ve ever experienced…

I was thinking about my Lover… No, I don’t have a Lover, but I’d like one now. A mosquito bite lets me know that it’s time to go home. They always come out at noon…

But can I write a bit first? I want to capture this feeling while I have it. Tomorrow I will go back to LA. The time here has been brief but so worthwhile. My mind, my spirit, and literally my body have been readjusted… I saw my doctor and he gave me more vitamins and disentangled more kinks in my body… And I fell in Love. With no one in particular. I fell in Love with the possibility of real Love.

I lay the past to rest now. It is time to move on…

I saw so many beautiful things in my meditations today. And then I opened my eyes. And I see so many beautiful things here and now. And I ask You, God, can this be my life?
In my mind’s eye, I had a Lover. He was so good to me… There was no more pain. There was no more struggle. He took care of me and I took care of him. And all my relationships were good. Family was good. Friends were good. And I did things in the world. Things I was born to do. I worked, not because I had to, but because there were things I wanted to give to the world. Stories and songs and programs and structures and light. And I gave so much joy. And I brought so much Love.

And, oh, I received it, too. I was not a martyr trying to carry the world on my back. I was a queen and I had warriors around me who fought demons for me and protected me so I could do my work. And I did good work. And sometimes I would fight, but my sword was Love and wisdom. I was buoyed up by You, God. I was flying. And I did good work. My life was a good life.

There are people who live like this, right here in Hawaii. In all parts of the world, even LA. I would like to be among those who can say, “My life was a good life”, after it is all said and done.

I have paid my dues. Oh, I have paid my dues time and time again. And as I leave Hawaii this time, let me leave with this feeling of alignment. Let me carry it into a new life now. Be with me, God, that I may act upon the inspiration received. Thank you so much for Your Love. Thank you so much for your vision. Thank you so much for this day, for this life, for this moment. Thank you for my Lovely family and friends who have been there carrying me through the depths of hell when I couldn’t walk on my own. Thank you for My Kind and the loving, honorable, selfless men who have showed me that loving, honorable, selfless men exist. Thank you for my beautiful sisters and their strength and wisdom. Thank you for Hawaii, God. Thank you for Hawaii.

Day 437
For Hawaii

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