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Day 368 – Good Luck

November 7, 2014

I am Lucky… I want to say it out loud. I am Lucky.

People have always told me that I was Lucky, Special, Blessed, Charmed, Unique, Different… Weird. Random so-called prophets and seers and priests and priestess and preachers and Imams have stopped me on the street all my life to tell me that I have a calling over my life.

I have never wanted to be lucky or special or gifted or different. I have never wanted to stand out. When I went from middle school to high school, I asked my mom to take me out of gifted and talented classes that I had been in all my life and put me with the regular kids so that I could be normal. She did. And when it came time to go to college, I realized that being in “normal” classes in high school meant going to a “normal” college. Because an “A” in a normal class wasn’t worth as much as an “A” in an honors class, and no matter how many A’s I made, I would never be top of my class. I had opted out of elitism…

But that didn’t stop me from standing out. I would go to parties and stand on walls, keep my mouth shut in class and never try to do too much. But try as I may, no matter where I went, I could never blend in. Leaders would find me. Powerful men would want to date me. Popular kids would seek out my friendship and the underachievers whom I called my friends would wonder how a quiet wallflower like me had gotten access to the secret world of special people. I would find my way out of the land of the lucky every time. It didn’t seem fair. I felt guilty. It just didn’t seem right that some people seemed to be able to always get everything they wanted. It didn’t seem fair that a girl like me could be privy to the kind of world that I would sometimes get access to… Girls like me didn’t live in that world: a world of being taken care of and being happy and having stuff and just being able to do whatever we wanted to do with our lives. Girls like me were not supposed to have husbands who Loved us and support systems. We were supposed to be single and struggle and have kids on our own or at least have husbands we hated. There was always supposed to be some sort of major obstacle or drama in the life of girls like me. We were victims. That’s just the way it was. We were not supposed to be lucky. Of course I never thought about these things out loud, but they lived in the bottom of my brain. This belief system always undid all of the luck that seemed to flow effortlessly towards me all of my life.

The people who knew me well knew who I was, and for the life of them, they couldn’t understand why I am not rich and famous and doing something spectacular with my life yet. “Stop shirking your responsibilities!” my sisters would yell at me after I grew up and decided never to be different again. They remembered the days that I used to do stuff, lead stuff, win and be lucky.

They didn’t understand that something deep in my subconscious had issues with being lucky, and it held me stagnant every day. I didn’t want to be lucky. I didn’t want to be special. I didn’t want to be different. And if I led the life of my dreams, then by default I would be different. I would be one of those people. Really. I would be one of those people. Like, for real. I am one of those people. I am one of those people who show up on this planet to help lift up the world. I know it like I know my own name. I know that my life is not just about having a husband and a house and some kids and a good job. That is fine for other people’s lives, but my life is really not about having at all. It’s about giving. Of course there is receiving involved. Of course there is growing and activation involved, but the giving part… There is a compulsion in the depths of my being to help wake people up to the truth of who they are…

And here we are today.

I have been placed on sick leave from work. Indefinitely. For up to two years. Paid. I had no idea this would happen. Yes, I have been sick. I have been having body issues for over a year. I have been stressed out for many months. Work has had a lot to do with it. But I had no idea that this would happen. I get to keep my health insurance. I’m seeing all kinds of doctors and getting all kinds of equipment to assist with my healing. As part of my therapy, it is recommended that I go out to nature and see my family.

I am lucky, I think to myself. How did I get this lucky? And then the guilt seeps in. I don’t want to tell my friends. I don’t even want to tell some of my family. They will feel bad. I don’t have to tell them, but this morning I recognize that there is something that I have to do for myself.

I have to accept being lucky. You see, what I call luck is really Grace finding me every time. It is telling me that I have work to do and It will make a way for me to do it. I don’t have to feel guilty about it. It is my way of moving through the world. It is not my friends’ way or my family’s way. It is my way. Grace finds me every time. Luck walks with me through life. Let it be my companion now, You say.

Be lucky. Yes. Claim it. Stand out. Because you do. Yes. There is no honor in playing small. We are not talking about ego here or vanity. We are not talking about being better or worse than anyone else. We are talking about Truth and we are talking about accepting the Truth of your own life. You see, I have provided a way for each of you to make it through this Earthly incarnation. Yours is what they call “luck”. But you have always known that. As you step into alignment with the calling of your life, I make ways out of no way for you. And you have known that as well. And you have been afraid of it. You have been afraid of this part of your life, but you have been walking towards this part of your life nonetheless. This is the part where you stop throwing away your Luck, your Gifts, your Blessings… you let go of the guilt associated with having everything, yes, EVERYTHING, you ever dreamed of.

Yes, stomach that. Dwell on it for a bit. It is already here. Right now. I have blessed you with the opportunity to live in LA, get paid, and do exactly what you want to do with your day, in addition to receiving treatment to heal your physical and mental body. Yes. Now. You. I need you to accept that you are lucky. Because it is a part of you. And you will not make it to the next level of life without accepting all parts of you. Sit up now and open your arms. Yes, you are beautiful. Yes, you are gifted and talented. Yes, you may enter the secret world of the elite any time you please. You may choose to be with the normal people, which you will. But you are not the normal people.

I need you to understand this. The difference between arrogance and confidence is subtle. Most do not understand it, but you must. Because now is not the time to stand on the wall. You are being summoned to come center stage now. Yes, you. And you must stand with confidence and humility, not arrogance. You are being called to deliver your gifts now, and each time you do so, you find yourself supported and enlivened.

I am with you always, and the more good you can accept, the more you will find. Go now. Congratulations on your new life. And Good Luck.

Day 368

Good Luck

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