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Day 345 – This Human Thing

July 17, 2014

Good morning World,

I’m practicing this discipline thing. I woke up before sunrise today, said my prayers and stretched. I still feel like I need to go a little deeper and meditate, but I’ll do that in a minute after I put my clothes in the washer…

So many things happen in a day. I started to write a double blog yesterday just because so much happened before I got home. Yesterday I practiced compassion and faith and I experienced grace. Right now I am practicing not complaining. My body is doing what I thought it would do once I decide to commit to change. It’s tripping. After a long hiatus and months of being sick and in pain, I just started exercising this week. Nothing too strenuous. Stretches, an easy run, and one Zumba class. But my body is much weaker than it used to be and hardly as flexible. I can feel the stuck parts stretching and the weak parts getting stronger. And of course some of it isn’t comfortable.

Yesterday, I was going to fire the illustrator for my children’s book. Suffice it to say that he wasn’t do a good job, he was missing deadlines, and he wasn’t communicating with me. On my way to meet him, I got pulled over by a cop. My car registration was expired. Not only that, but I had a whole lot of other issues surrounding my car. The officer told me that he had every right to impound my car, arrest me, and give me several tickets due to my driving status. He didn’t impound my car, though. He didn’t arrest me. He gave me a fix-it ticket and one other ticket and told me to fix my car situation because the next officer might not be so nice. “I don’t need to add to your problems,” he said. His name was Officer Mott. God Bless him. Thank you.

When I met with my artist, he was happy to see me. He’s shy and quiet and quite eccentric like most fine artists. He always shakes my hand when we meet and it’s so awkward. He shook my hand again and we talked. I told him how disappointed I was with everything. I had sought him out because I know the kind of work he does, but the work he had done for me looks nothing like the work he usually does. He agreed. He admitted that he had had a block and couldn’t visualize the pictures for the book, so he was just trying to come up with something. He was so apologetic that I didn’t know what to do with him. “I know I can get there,” he said. He told me that he had been going through a lot since we had agreed to work together. He’s an older guy. Probably in his 50’s. He said it was nothing serious like jail or hospital, but he had just been going through things in his personal life. When we first met, I remember seeing a post on his Facebook about being with someone he loved. It was only one post and then there was nothing else months afterwards… I imagine someone must have broken his heart. That will give a sensitive artist soul a life block.

My artist is one of those people who had a blooming career but then something happened. When he was my age, he ran the art department of a major motion picture studio. Then something happened. Now he is a struggling artist that draws sketches at coffee shops and does projects for strangers like me. He needs money more than I do. I wasn’t gonna’ pay him the full balance of his money. I was gonna tell him, “You didn’t do this, that and the other, so I’m not gonna’ pay you everything.” But as I was sitting across the table from him, something happened. I felt connected. I felt like he was me. He was not the enemy. He was me. He was a human being blessed and cursed with a sensitive soul trying very hard to navigate a world of money and deadlines that made very little sense to him. He was a real sweetheart, and a talented sweetheart at that. I gave him the money, but I told him that I was disappointed with the product and explained to him why. I told him that I was just going to find another artist to draw the pics, and then he asked me if I could please let him finish them. “I know I can get there,” he said. He wanted to finish them. “Sure,” I said… I don’t know if he’s actually ever going to finish them. I’ll give him until August and then I’ll figure something else out, because I need the pics by September. Whether he finishes it isn’t the point, though. The point is I practiced compassion. I actually saw myself in another person.

You may think I’m a sucker, or he may think I’m a sucker. That police officer that let me go may feel like he got slighted by another scheming woman trying to evade the law. But I’m starting to have a different opinion about suckers. I think the real suckers are the ones who don’t recognize when they are being blessed. I think the real suckers are the people who continue to walk around the Earth trying to “get over” on everyone. It just doesn’t work. The sh*t hits the fan eventually. I’m glad the police officer stopped me and gave me a real reason to pay off all my debt immediately. I’m glad that I woke up early this morning and was able to do some stretches and pray and move my body around. I don’t know how I’m going to get all the money I need to pay the ticket off, but I’m even glad that I have a real reason to think about how to generate more income and use my skills now. I’m glad that I’m not as afraid of change today as I was yesterday. And I’m glad to feel connected to my fellow human beings again. Thank you, God, for one day of Life… Thank you so much. Ameen.

Day 345

This Human Thing

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From → The Alive Part

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