Day 305 – Open (It Ain’t Over Till It’s Over)

Good morning God. Good morning world. I’ve been up reading, praying, and meditating for the past few hours. I Love Saturday mornings. I can take the time I really need to center myself.

The new book I’m reading is called The Untethered Soul. The writing style is simple and organized. I have heard of the information before, but not in this way. Very simple. I am about a third through the book, and so far, it is about opening. The argument or thesis is that most of our problems are created by blockages that we store in our energy centers from childhood. He goes on to say that the solution is to constantly, intentionally open ourselves, especially when we feel inclined to close up, and to let emotional, mental, and physical, and spiritual blockages be releases when they come up, instead of trying to repress them.

Worth thinking about and trying out. At least for me.

Thinking about this blog and all that has transpired since I started writing. Yesterday my sis and I were walking around a park in the ghetto. We got to talking about how hard life can be in LA and I told her some of the stories of my struggles here. She had no idea of all that had happened. And really, as I was talking to her, I realized all that had happened. And I realized where I am today.

Food, shelter and a stable mind are very simple things. But they are things that I didn’t have just a year ago. Me. Rookie Teacher of the Year. I didn’t have those things. And I’m so glad that I went through that time.

“I asked for Strength and God gave me difficulties to make me strong… I asked for Wisdom and God gave me problems to solve.”

I am so glad that I went through that time. I’m sure there could have been other ways. I know I don’t have to experience every single thing in the world in order to have compassion, but I’m glad that I experienced what I did. Yesterday, as I walked through the park and I saw the homeless people, the people selling drugs, doing drugs, tricked out, hopeless, good and crazy; as I smelled the stanch of the inner city and all the rotting things, I could just see it for what it was. I didn’t get all depressed and start thinking about how bad the world is. I didn’t want to be a hero and save everyone. And I didn’t feel like I had to have a loyalty to the downtrodden and just hang out in the stinky park so that I could prove that I hadn’t become too bougie. I wasn’t scared of the people either, though. They were just people. Like me. I had slept in my car years ago at that park and the woman in her car years ago was of the same essence as the stable-minded woman who writes at a desk in her gated community today.

We are just people. All of us doing the best we can. A deep well of forgiveness and compassion grows in me these days. A reservoir of Love and Gratitude bubbles up. I have been releasing it all, without even knowing. We have been cleansing. Oh, there was so much to clean, but we have been letting it all go. An underneath the pain of all the past and the fear of all the future, my heart still lives. Vibrant. I am still here. Vibrant. Can you believe it?

Yesterday I met a man. But before you say ‘here we go again’, let me tell you the story. Because it’s a good story. I was headed to work and as I was leaving my complex I saw two guys standing across the street. One of them was my neighbor that I’ve seen walking around the neighborhood for the past two plus years, but never spoken to. My neighbor’s friend waved me over, and when I came up to him, I recognized that I knew him. He is a singer and I had just seen him in a show not even a week ago. We talked and chatted and my neighbor finally introduced him. He is a musician as well and he has a British accent. He owns the house across the street. The house that I call the music house, because there is always music coming from it. He is tall and handsome and so polite and gentle. His friend forced us to exchange information because both of us seemed to shy to ask the other for any info.

Why is this story so significant? Because these guys had such a high vibe. They gave me a t-shirt and a poster and I went back to work feeling elated. Them? In this neighborhood? I automatically got over every guy that I’ve been pining over. I know. Neighbor might not even ever call me. But it’s OK. Because what they have done is help me remember. It is possible that Love could be right across the street from you. Right across the street. And you can pass by it for two years and not even recognize it. Do you understand? There are so many possibilities for our lives that we are not even aware of. Do not think that your current experience of life is the end of the story. Do not get trapped in the lie that all that has been is all there is.

No. It’s just not true. The truth is that our lives can change drastically at any given moment. The truth is that even in this moment, even in the midst of grief and pain and disappointment, we can experience Peace. The truth is, the human will is mighty, mighty thing, and when aligned with the will of the Most High, magic can happen. The truth is, life can be better than we imagine. I am a witness.

Open yourself to the possibility that life can be better than you imagine. And see what happens. Ameen.

Day 305

Open (It Ain’t Over Till It’s Over)