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Day 295 – This Time In My Life

February 21, 2014

Good morning,

A sweet waking up. Haven’t had this in a while. I love it. I like to imagine that angels come in the night. They sweep away pain and anything you were thinking of and it’s just so sweet… I even feel it in my body.

I think I am nicest between 3 and 7 am. The world doesn’t exist in those hours. There is only peace, feeling like Truth. No headaches or body aches, no tears or wants. There is no future or past. There is only a moment of bliss.

It leaves after a little bit. I try to catch it and pin it down, take it with me throughout the day, but it leaves. It is leaving even now as I write and I am thinking about Muse and how he always tries to covertly put people down. Let’s do some work around that thought. Let’s not try to put him down. Let’s not criticize him. I think I have an issue with that: criticism.

Let’s let that go this morning. I am willing to release the need to criticize others. I still feel it lingering in me. I am willing to release the need to criticize others. I am willing to release the need to criticize others. I am willing to release the need to criticize others. I am willing to release the need to criticize others. I realize I have created this condition in my consciousness and I am willing to release the pattern in my consciousness that is responsible for this condition…

My friend Mr. Almost Famous just came to mind. Normally I would text him when he comes to mind like this, and he will text me back saying something like “hey, that’s just what I needed to hear.” But I’m not going to text him this morning. I’m just gonna think about him instead. Thank you for being so radiant. Thank you for being so kind. Thank you for being so compassionate and nonjudgemental. Thank you for being loyal. Thank you for being strong. Thank you for seeing beyond your own self and choosing your words with care and consideration. Thank you for being humble. But most of all, thank you for the well of Love, the big light that walks with you everywhere you go, blessing people simply by being in your presence. You are loved. You are noticed. You are appreciated. You make a difference just by being you. Thank you for being you. I Love you…

I don’t have much to write about today. Maybe I do, but I’ll save it for another day. My mom is coming to visit in a week, so I now I have some motivation to really get my house in order. I’m glad. I know I’ll do it.

The undertow of the sinking ocean has stopped. I don’t know how. I’d like to take credit for all of my healings and realization, but I doubt it’s all me. I doubt most of it is me. There is something going on for sure. There is something bigger than me that comes in the night and washes away all sorts of pain while I’m sleeping. I believe in God. Oh, I don’t know about the rest and what will happen after this moment on Earth. I’m not gonna pretend like I have a single answer.

But somehow I think that this time on Earth matters, too. Whether it is all a test to see if we can overcome Satan’s trickery, or whether we are here only to create and experience all we can be. Whether Jesus is calling us to help us get through our ingrained sinful nature or whether ancestors are trying to work things out through our existence. I imagine that the afterlife, or whatever happens later, will have something to do with what happens now, or rather, what we choose to do now.

So for today, before the clock reads 7 and the sun comes up, I choose to cherish this time on Earth. It’s an every day choosing. I just choose it today because I had forgotten about it yesterday. But I’d like to say that even when we are down and despairing, even when we are at war with each other and nothing makes sense, even when we can’t seem to find a hero or someone to look up to, even when others are hurting us or we are hurting ourselves, even when we don’t know where we went wrong or how to make it right, even when our energy is zapped and our bodies hurt and our hearts are broken, even when our houses and our lives our disorganized, even when we are lacking in food or money or shelter or connectivity, even in the midst of anguish, choice remains. Grace remains in the world even when it is not a part of our immediate experience. Abundance remains. Compassion remains.

And sometimes if you can not find any of the good things you seek, it helps if you bring it. Bring compassion. Bring Love. Bring forgiveness. Bring connectivity, You tell me. Do not worry if you are the only one. Trust me, you may be the only one in your immediate surrounding, but you are never the only one. Bring a light like Mr. Almost Famous. Bring humility. Don’t worry about when you will be on the receiving end again. Just don’t worry, Laydie. Trust me. Scan your life and see how much you have received all these things. Even in your sleep I am comforting you. So do not worry if no one cooks you chicken soup tonight. We know that you have been comforted by Kings and Queens and Priests in your time. Angels clean your heart at night. Stop holding back the good in you because you are waiting for it to be returned. It is returned to you tenfold in so many ways…

Today I choose just to be humble. I choose a recipient to bless. I choose kindness. Have a beautiful day.

Day 295

This Time In My Life

From → The Initiation

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