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Day 287 – Creation Time

January 20, 2014

Good morning.

It’s a good day. My favorite kind of day. I’m off work. Got to spend hours praying, meditating, stretching and reading. I could literally spend all day praying, meditating and reading. Some of my favorite things to do.

I think I love meditating so much because I get to go on trips in my mind. There is this theory floating around in the world that says if you can imagine a thing, you can be it. I’m not sure how much of an advocate I am. I know that just because I may be able to imagine myself flying out of my window doesn’t mean that it can or will ever happen, but there are some things that I like to imagine that just don’t seem that impossible. Like Love. And Success. And Joy.

Today I spent time seeing what those things mean to me at this point in my life. And I am thankful to even have the time to sit down and think about those things, because everyone doesn’t get to sit down and go so deep. It’s easy to get caught up in the “to-do” list of life. Trust me, I know. And so I thank You, Creator, for allowing me a moment to connect and see what’s really next, not just how I can pay bills or stay afloat or stop from crying.

We are past that stage. Congratulations. We have finally been able to pay our bills. We have managed to go many months without feeling victimized or too depressed. Even when we cry it just doesn’t feel as permanent as it used to. Crying just feels like a bath these days, and sadness doesn’t have such a deep hold on our souls like it used to.

And so Laydie it is time to move on to other things. The Creation part. I know, we didn’t think we were fit for some time. Right? We thought we were too messed up and too sad and too everything and not worthy to actually sit there and speak a thing and think a thing and try to make it our lives. We thought that no guy would actually ever love us. I mean, at least no guy that we actually wanted to be with. We thought that our dream life was just some dream to keep us entertained, not something that was supposed to really be real.

And this morning, We, I, me and my Higher Self, are thinking other thoughts. Like the dreams aren’t just there to be dreamed. They are there to be realized. And we sat down and imagined what life would look like were the dreams my life. And the wonderful, wonderful thing is that it seemed possible. It didn’t seem like flying out of my window. My dreams seemed possible for me. I felt qualified to live the life I have only ever dared to imagine.

I think I have cried enough. I have suffered enough. I have paid my dues. I understand some things now. I am powerful. Yes, I said it. I am powerful. We all are, whether we acknowledge it or not. We all create our lives, whether we do so on purpose or not. Our lack of creation and intention leaves us to be victims of the creation and the path that we are born into. But we can change things.

We can.

It is the beautiful gift of free will. We can set an intention. A small intention like Love. Or Patience. Or we can decide to be giving and stop hoarding our gifts. We can allow vulnerability into our hearts. We can change things, you know…

Sometimes I write a post like this and I get anxiety because I feel so good and then when I walk out into the world I realize that I don’t know what the future holds. I don’t know how people will respond to me. I don’t know if I’ll ever find a man who Loves me just as much as I Love him. I don’t know if I’ll ever be successful. I don’t even know if I’ll live until tomorrow. And all of these theories about creation sound nice, but what if they aren’t true?

Then my other mind says, what if they are? What if they are? We are here now anyway. We are alive today anyway. Aren’t you tired of living a sad life? Aren’t you tired of just getting by? Aren’t you tired of not having outlets to share and express all the love and goodness in you? Aren’t you tired of being so alone? I mean, whether or not whatever theory is true, the truth is that sleeping in peace at night is important to me. Happiness is important to me.

I am no longer a reactionary being running away from my pain. Living a good life is important to me. So let’s start now. Creation time. We already saw the vision. Time to act.

Day 287

Creation Time


From → The Initiation

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