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Day 266 – What If We’re Not Perfect?

November 22, 2013

Hi. I’m sitting at home waiting on My One. Mad. Don’t even want to call him My One right now. He’s late. Super late.

I’m getting all sad now. Anxiety. Is this date gonna be a bust? Why is this date such a huge deal for me? I went all out in preparation. Even bought a new dress and put on make-up. Feeling like he didn’t even plan for me. About to cry…

I mean, I told him he could come whenever after 7:30, but he said he’d be here around 7:30 and it’s an hour later. Yes, it rained in LA today. Yes, there’s a lot of traffic…

I’m about to cry. Disappointed. Oh Lord, please calm down the angry, fearful woman in me that wants to send him a text right now and tell him not to come and smash the phone against the wall. Please tell her that everything is going to be all right. Please tell her that everything is all right. If I cry, I’m going to have to redo my make-up and my eyes are going to be red… Too late.

How and why did I beef this man up in my head to already be my husband? Lord why are You making me face the fear of disappointment on such a grand scale? Putting a seemingly perfect man right in front of my face and then making him a flawed tardy bird? Haven’t I been disappointed enough? Jeez, what if he’s not perfect?

That’s the question of the day, isn’t it? What if he’s not perfect? He’s not perfect, is he?

-No.

I gave him complete leeway to plan a first date for us and impress me. He’s never done this before, has he?

-Not in a long time. This is a big deal for him, too. He is like you. Nervous. Shooting himself in the foot. Using every ounce of his willpower and prayer to stop from self sabotaging. It is a miracle that he did not get in a car accident. This is his growth moment. Just like you.

Wow. You mean he’s not a hero? A knight in shining armor coming to fix everything?

-No. You are each other’s heroes. He is not perfect. Just like you…

He’s just a man. Waiting for his other half. Just like you. Waiting for your other half. But he is a good man. Made from the best of stuff. And unlike many, he is willing to face his demons, willing to risk getting in a car accident, willing to step into the fear of shooting himself in the foot, for the possibility of a life come true. And he doesn’t even know what he’s doing. Just like you. You two are brave, brave souls finding each other.

So stop crying now. Queen. The night hasn’t even started. Wipe your tears and accept the truth here. Now. Give what you want to receive. The acceptance of your flaws and all. You want someone to stay and enjoy even when you show up late, don’t you? (And you usually do). See his heart. Look, now. See his heart. You see the light gets brighter when you look. Give him an encouraging word. He’s bummed out, too. Get over these immediate first response emotions and move deeper into emotional maturity.

See.. the tears stop. Your eyes will be white before he arrives… Lol… Now get up and go have the time of your life!

Ameen.

Day 266

What If We’re Not Perfect?

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From → The Initiation

3 Comments
  1. Loved this! True first emotions and a real life moment. These are the feelings and emotions so e of us go through. After all that you think about them! What if there going through the same thing. GOD lets a dig the whole but will always ALWAYS help us get out.

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