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Day 258 – Jesus and the Lost/Found Souls

November 9, 2013

Good morning World!

I just wrote 567 words and I’m starting over. Sometimes you need to clear out the gunk before you can get to the point.

“Make a definite decision to accept the fulfillment of your desires.” – The Success Book

That’s what I want to write about this morning.

There is a time to sit still, clean up, make space, and there is a time to act, get out into the world and do. Yesterday I had a come to Jesus moment. A coworker told me all about Jesus and how if I believed in Jesus and accepted him as my lord and savior, he would do everything for me and protect me from everything. My coworker said that I wouldn’t have to worry about suffering or anything and I would be forgiven for everything. He went on to say that we as humans are full of sin and the only way we could get rid of our sin was to be cleansed by the blood of Jesus, who would take away our sin if we believed in him.

I didn’t grow up Christian, and so I don’t have a program me that automatically accepts the Christian doctrine. But I listened to him yesterday. What a concept. You could let someone else carry all of your debt. A reliever. For the first time, I saw the appeal that Jesus has. You could let go of everything, like a little kid and his loving daddy, and no matter what you did, Jesus would make it right if you just let him hold you. When you say it that way, who wouldn’t want to believe in Jesus? Who wouldn’t want someone to automatically relieve them of everything they’ve ever done and everything they may continue to do.

I thought about the Jesus pitch and as I’m sitting here this morning, I have to respectfully decline the offer to come. I’m sorry, Jesus. It’s not my path. I don’t know much, but I know about belief. I live in Los Angeles, where homeless people live next door to millionaires. Prostitutes walk the same streets with holy men. People do yoga every day in the same parks that meth heads buy drugs. I understand about belief. We are all living in the same world. The same streets for God’s sake, but only our belief separates us. Only our world view makes one person come to Jesus while the other reads self-help books and searches her own mind.

The thing about belief is that when you choose one, you are governed by the rules of that world. Jesus sounds cool, but the Jesus world has rules and a system in place. A particular type of Heaven and hell, a way to be in the world. When you choose Jesus, you choose the Jesus world, and I don’t choose the Jesus world.

I choose the world where I can go straight to the Source. And you say, who do I think I am? And I say, why can’t I go straight to the Source. I mean, for real, God, why not? I just can’t get down with the original sin thing. I just can’t believe that we would come out of the womb evil. That You would put us here just to suffer. One day I will make a documentary about You, God, but not today. Not for this blog. I just think a person’s belief is so important. It’s the most important thing because it governs everything else. And when you are confused in your belief, or when we are walking around lying to ourselves about what we believe just because we want a hero, our lives reflect the confusion.

But who am I, right? Who am I to say anything about belief or religion? I’m not a prophet… God, I don’t normally feel confused about the spiritual path I’ve chosen, but yesterday that guy made me feel like something must be wrong with me. He told me that I look like I’m searching. He thinks I am a lost soul, but I don’t think I’m lost. I feel pretty ok with my beliefs. I feel like they serve me well. My heart and mind are more free, my conscience is more clear than it’s ever been in my life. He told me that no matter how good I am or whatever good I do in the world, if I don’t believe in Jesus, then my soul will be forever damned. My momma feels the same way about me not choosing her religious path. She’s always telling me I need to pray the right way so I can be blessed. I usually don’t even pay attention to this kind of talk, but yesterday I listened.

Tell me, now. Am I arrogant, like they say? Should I just come to Jesus or Islam or some path? Why can’t I? Why don’t I believe? Should I? Why don’t the Holy books comfort me? I don’t have to be right about everything. Why do I think that I can go straight to You? Why am I OK with this thought? Is it the devil? Because I feel like I am guided. I feel like You are with me always. I am not sad anymore. I don’t feel guilty about everything anymore. I actually care about people now and I take responsibility for my life. I like my life now…

I remember I used to say these affirmations: I now create a life I like to look at. I like my life now. I like my thoughts. I like what is happening. I like the books I read and the things I’m learning, but they say I am lost. Tell me. Am I lost?

-No.

Is it You talking to me?

-No.

Then who is it?

-Your own mind. Empty it and listen for My Voice. Listen… I am a Gracious God. Hear that. I am a Gracious God, not the author of confusion. You know you are not lost. Know what you know. Know what you know. Know what you know and stand in your knowledge of Self. Seek Truth and ye shall find it. Learn my Voice, it is not your own. Soon the two will be one, and you will live My Voice. The lady at your spiritual center saw it. People see it in you. They see it. They want you on their team. Learn My Voice and it will guide you. You are never lost…

There is no more time for confusion. There is no more time for crying every day and the only thing worth fighting for is the right to be who I am. Today I make a definite decision to accept the fulfillment of my dreams come true. I make a definite, firm decision to accept success in my life. I make a definite, firm decision to be all that is in my spirit to be. In this life. In this time. In this world. Now. No longer a dream, but a life in action. No longer a someday somehow, but a good life today. Today. A Love expressed today. A giving today. A healing today. A accept the fulfillment of a clean room. I accept the payment of debts. I accept the answer to all prayers. I accept my Life Divine… And so it is. Ameen.

Day 258

Jesus and the Lost/Found Souls

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From → The Initiation

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