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Day 257 – Peace and Excitement (The Oxymoron)

November 6, 2013

Good morning. It’s 6:15. Work today.

Closing my eyes. I cleaned my room, folded and hung up all my clothes, double mopped the floors, saged it down, said a blessing in every corner and even went over everything with rose oil… Can I tell you what a difference it makes? I bought a spongey mattress pad thing for my bed. I haven’t slept this well in so long.

My mind is at peace this morning. Not gonna write too long ‘cus I want to say my prayers and stuff. It’s funy. It’s eady to create something to talk about when you’ve got a lot of drama going on. I love watching the TV show Scandal because there’s always some drama. Some problem or mess that the main character has to get out of. But what happens when there is no problem? No mess? How do you make things exciting when you wake up in the morning hearing birds and dreaming of faith songs and the one man you trust sitting on his porch smiling at you?

OMG. A friend of mine just showed up at my doorstep. Wow… I’m not feeling all sentimental now, but I’ll still finish what I started. I had something to pour out this morning. The absence of drama. The co-existence of peace and excitement.

I am sitting on top of the hill, God. It’s a little overcast now. You say this is the fun part. The creation part. It’s an oxymoron in my mind. Peace and Excitement. I come to you. I put them in the atmosphere together. I see my smile, found. Big. It lights up the whole backdrop. I see my dance. Feminine. The sky lights up bright. I send a smile to the man in my dreams, always looking out for me in my mind and in real life, always making things brighter.

The world has layers. We don’t always get to see all of them. Some of us are stuck in a grey sky forever. Some of us see the sunlight always. There are those who have never known what a clean room feels like, free, unblocked, energy and good stuff flowing everywhere. There are others who have never lived any other way.

I have seen the dark, dark things and the beautiful things. I know the difference. Some would say that I know too much, but I think that I know just enough to build now.

In my picture now, where my partner is still fuzzy looking like so many colors waiting to materialize, I ask for some tools. We are going to need to build things. Yes a steady, stable thing to rest our heads. I will start without him. I am ready. I won’t worry about the exciting stuff. I give it to You. I give all my questions to You and I actually trust that You will answer in due time, lead me every step of the way. You know I need some excitement in my life, but somehow I feel it bubbling in me without all the drama. This is new stuff. I like this stuff.

My foundation is peace. I will start to build.

Day 257

Peace and Excitement (The Oxymoron)

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