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Day 217 – I Love Myself, Therefore

March 8, 2013

Good morning Love…

Love on the mind. I’m actually thankful for being alive today. Reveling in this moment. Closing my eyes…

I thought I was alone, but you have sent me angels for friends. Angels in the form of people. Patient and kind beings who stick with me. They don’t throw me away when they’re upset or say I’m too anything. They don’t bring me down or ask me to play low. The lift up, up, up. They bring light. They are themselves and they accept me as my ever changing self. I am thankful for the angels today.

Yesterday was challenging. I woke up in a tired funk. I wasn’t motivated to write or do any of my assignments. I tried, but nothing was working. So I called my therapist friend. He has been working with me every single day and helping me to complete things. And I have been completing things. I called him. We talked and did a session. And then I completed my assignments for the day…

And I’m up early today feeling able and grateful. Thank You Lord…

This one is a short one today. Things are changing already, but I won’t talk about them yet. I am changing. I am finally learning about the importance of keeping our promises to ourselves. But more than that, I am learning about what it means to not be a victim. This is a big one.

The other day, an associate of mine asked to come and stay with me. This person has stayed with me on a few occasions before. Every time he comes, it’s a bad experience for me. The last time I hung out with him, I made sure to add “Don’t Hang Out With” to his name in my phone book. But then he asked to stay with me. In the past, he never paid me any money, but this time he said he could pay some money… He doesn’t have to stay with me. He’s got family. But his family’s house is crowded and uncomfortable for him. So, he wanted to stay with me. Like a kind-hearted fool, I considered it. Even though the name on my phone explicitly said “Don’t Hang Out With”, I considered letting him stay with me…

Luckily for me, we had a conversation before his move in date wherein he told me all of his demands and offered me 60 percent of the money I had asked for. And something in me woke up. Why the %$&* would I let this guy come stay with me? I don’t like him. I don’t like being around him. He brings me down and tries to use me every single time. He tries to get the most while giving the least and sometimes I feel physically sick while in his presence. He gets jealous when I doing something good…

And what Louise Hay said in her book You Can Heal Your Life made sense at last. In her book, she says that almost every problem we have comes from an issue of loving the self. She has an exercise that goes, “I Love myself, therefore…”. When you are thinking of actions to take, you’re supposed to finish the sentence. So it goes “I Love myself, therefore…” I Love myself, therefore I surround myself with nourishing people, not people who deplete my energy and make me feel bad. I Love myself, therefore I give love when I choose to. I Love myself, therefore I accept love and help and support. I Love myself, therefore I make my home into a place that I feel good coming home to. I Love myself, therefore I finish my projects and give myself an opportunity to succeed. I Love myself therefore I Love and give to others, because that makes me come alive. I Love myself, therefore I honor my body and share with ones who would bless me. I Love myself, therefore I honor my time and spend it lovingly and usefully. I Love myself, therefore I don’t let people pimp me and use me. I Love myself, therefore I demand friendship from the ones I call friends. I Love myself, therefore I am careful with my heart and only trust the ones who have proven themselves trustworthy. I Love myself. I Love myself. I Love myself…

I have thought this thought a thousand times, but never felt qualified to write it out loud. I Love myself. Today I am finally starting to Love myself. All of me. Just as I am. I’m not just saying it. I actually feel it and believe it. There is nothing to prove anymore. I am getting strong again, but this time I like this kind of strong, because it includes all the other parts of me, my niceness and my kindness and my vulnerability. I like strong. Strong is necessary too. I am becoming a well-rounded person. I am becoming my true self and I’m proud of me. I Love myself therefore I acknowledge my own progress. I Love myself, God. God, I Love myself…


Day 217

I Love Myself, Therefore

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