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Day 214 – On Thriving and Surviving

February 28, 2013

Hi there. Every time I don’t write for a while, I miss it. Maybe I’m becoming a real writer…

I’m moving back to my apartment tomorrow. Mixed feelings. Glad to be gone, but not excited about paying rent again. The real need for money “as a necessary tool” (as some girl at work told me) is settling in…

I’ve been super busy this past week, sun up to sun down style. Working, going to interviews and job seminars, applying for jobs, rewriting a project, planning for this summer heal the world trip, and doing therapy every single day. Exhausted is not the word. The word is… busy. Yesterday I had to take an intentional moment to sit down, pray really deep, and meditate. I needed it.

Today is another busy day. Its 6:30am and I’ll be getting dressed shortly. I need to write, though. It helps me clear things up and be reminded of what’s important. It’s really easy to get caught up being “busy” especially in this town, and there is a difference between being busy and being productive. There is a difference food that nourishes and food that just keeps you alive. There is a difference between surviving and thriving.

As a somewhat artistic type, it’s often hard to separate your passion from the necessity to pay rent. We want to spend our time focusing on our “art”. The thing is, rent has to be paid. But if you spend all your time just working and never making moves on your creative stuff, years will pass and you will find yourself in the same place you have been forever. I think the trick is to spend time each day focusing on both survival needs and actions that we need to take to thrive. That’s my new thing…

I will be glad to have my room with the desk and the view of the pretty trees again. It has been a while since I have chosen to thrive. I am choosing to thrive here, and I’m releasing all blocks, all obstacles, all things that would hinder me from thriving. You see, survival has been my main focus for some months now, and I have been doing just that: barely surviving. Barely surviving is the perfect way to neutralize any vibrant energy you have and turn you into a machine. It’s a necessary step, though, when you are coming back to life.

I’m going back home, God. I’d like to take a moment and talk with You about thriving. I believe in You. I trust You. Guide me, please. I am not afraid of anything that may come. Guide me to the place where, in the midst of all this, I may thrive once and for all. I am interested in real Abundance. Even today. I am interested in expressing Real Love and receiving Real Love. Even today. Make of me what You will. Bring me back to my Original Self. I am willing to experience Pure Joy again. Now. Today. I am choosing Ease as a way of Life. Even today. I open my arms to receive help and I allow myself to be a helper.

I give from the Best part of me and I receive from the Best part of me: that part of me that knows Truth. That part of me that experiences Truth. I choose Truth today. Today I am choosing. I am going on an intentional adventure. I am choosing to know how to “do life”. My will is all I have in this thing, and so I use it today, for the purpose of thriving. Today I am going on a truly intentional adventure. No matter what may happen when I walk out that door, no matter what thoughts my pass through my head or what emotions I may feel, no matter how things may go or not go, I choose to thrive today. In spite of appearances. I choose to be pulsing with vibrant creative energy, even if no one notices.

I am recreating my identity. From the walking dead to the alive. I can do that. I don’t have to wait for a million dollars to smile at someone. I don’t need anyone’s permission to finish writing my project or to say thank you for something and appreciate even the fresh ripe tomato that I have in my fridge. I give thanks for this day and for my time in this apartment. I open to receive whatever pure Light blessings were given here and I allow the blessing of my presence to remain after my departure.

Life is a gift. It can be that way, even in the midst of pain and confusion. Even with no money or no man, Love and abundance are still possibilities. I release the need to understand everything before I experience it. I give my True life permission to be my life. Thriving. Progress. Abundance. All of My Needs Met. Expression of Joy. Love. Beauty. Limitless Opportunity. Harmony. Spiritual Power. I welcome You as my new companions. I send this prayer out to you, My Lord, and I allow You to take care of me. I allow You to take care of all of this. Thank you for this Life we Live…

And so It Is.

Day 214

On Thriving and Surviving

 

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