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Day 206 – Stand Up

January 16, 2013

It’s morning, but this one won’t be long. I have a lot to do today. Time to make some money.

I went to a meeting at this organization yesterday that helps people find jobs. The speaker was really funny. She talked about vision and how some of our visions had become dusty, like a picture hanging on the wall in our grandmother’s house. She talked about cleaning up our vision for our lives and seeing what’s really there and then making a move on it. She also encouraged us to make today a new day, and she said the measure of a new day is that you do something new in the day.

I liked her talk. My ego wants to say that I already knew all that, but I’m glad she said it yesterday. Put some things in perspective. My now former boss asked his secretary to contact me and ask me for the report that I made for him. The one that he threw back at me and told me he didn’t need. -_-

I remember why I checked out of the world. There’s a lot going on out there. It’s a lot for a hypersensitive soul like me. I was thinking about it, and realized that I almost let my former boss drag me into a really compromising situation. Why would I compromise myself like that for someone I don’t even care about? It’s the whole power thing. I felt like I had to do what he said because I worked for him. But that’s not true. I don’t have to do anything, especially not something that compromises my integrity. It’s a note to self, especially as I am coming back to work in a world that is not necessarily based on integrity.

And this is the new thing that I’m learning. This is the intentional thing for today. At some point, if you are brave enough to be sensitive and participate in the world, and if you have the audacity to open your mouth and say you are trying to create something good, you are going to have to take a stand for yourself.

Some people think kindness is weakness, and so, if you are kind (like I am), you are going to have to find a way to be kind, but also be kind to yourself. Don’t let people punk you. Don’t  let people manipulate you into doing things that compromise who you are. There will be some guy with an agenda that tries to coerce you into doing something you know you don’t really want to do. There will be someone with control issues trying to get you on their team, especially if they think you are strong. It’s not about you. It’s about their ego. Recognize. Because if your entire life is about pleasing others, you’re most likely going to get played.

And we are taught that to think of oneself and put oneself first is selfish. I’m not talking about being selfish. I’m talking about standing up. Stand up! Stand up for your life. Stand up for your dreams. Be on your own side. Stand up. We all have a right, you see. It doesn’t matter where you come from or what you’ve been through or your race or gender or how poor your momma was or what you’ve done in the past. We get this thing called a new day and we can literally turn it all around. Really. Every single thing can be healed. Every single thing can be changed, but you have to do the work for yourself. I believe it.

It may not be easy. You’re going to have to believe in the possibility of things you never experienced. There’s no way around it. If you don’t personally know a single person who has ever been in a loving, lasting relationship, but you want to create that for yourself, then you are going to have to be delusional for a while and believe that somewhere in the world, this magical thing called Love and Harmony exists and it’s possible for you. People will tell you, “Girl, just settle. Every guy’s gonna cheat. At least he takes care of you”. Their vision is only based on experience because they have no faith, and this is where you have to stand up for yourself. This is where you have to defend your own vision. You have to. I mean, you don’t have to. But I have to. Because my vision never goes away. I can put it on the shelf, run from it, ignore it, try to stomp it out, but it never goes away, and my vision for my life has nothing to do with what I’ve experienced. It has everything to do with what I would like to experience…

I still believe in Love and Reciprocity. I still believe in integrity. I still believe that I have books and songs and movies and projects that people in the world will Love and need and use. I still believe that joy is a necessary part of life and I believe in good food and clean air and nourishment. I believe in true happiness and people telling the truth and not trying to hurt each other and being there for each other. I believe in the possibility of goodness in spite of whatever I may have experienced in my life and I know that there is no way that I am alone…

This is my day today, God. I’m standing up. I thank you for that woman’s words yesterday. I thank you for my health and the clarity in my mind. I thank you for a place to live and eat and sleep. I thank you for the inspiration that you have put in my Spirit and I walk out into the world today knowing that my life is worth standing up for, knowing that I, too, am a good thing… Ameen.

Day 206

Stand Up

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