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Day 166 – It’s An Every Day Thing

September 26, 2012

Good morning world,

This one might be kind of short because I have to get started for the day, but I wanted to take a moment to reach out and remember this time…

Yesterday I went to yoga and we did a stretch that felt like it cracked my brain open. It was like a straight line flowing from my legs all the way up through my back and on top of my right eyebrow that was stretched, and every ache or pain that I had felt was connected to that straight line. All my back pain, abdominal pain, this blockage that I feel in my forehead sometimes, it was all hooked up to one pathway in my body. And we did that one stretch and I could feel everything, every remembered pain in my body, falling away and stretching out.

It was the most refreshing thing I have experienced in a long time, and it was a trip to know that at some point, I had thrown some part of my body out of whack, and as a result, every connected part had gone out of alignment as well. But it was refreshing to know that it was possible to get this thing back in order. My yoga teacher called me the “curvy girl”, since my spine was curving all this way and the other.

As a note, when you see me on the street, unless you have the trained eye of a good doctor or teacher, you can’t tell that my back is a bit crooked, but when I do those yoga poses, it all comes clear. When I used to teach yoga to kids, I remember I would tell them all to stand straight and they would try their best, and it would be amazing to see how some of them shrugged their right shoulder up or stuck their left hip out or leaned more on one leg and they thought they were standing straight.

The imbalances start at a young age, but they are fixable, and it is especially wonderful when you find someone with the knowledge to recognize where the root of the injury is, and the ability to help you get it all straightened out…

Lord, Lord, Lord. I am getting my life straightened out, in all ways. I am coming back into alignment in all ways…

Yesterday I gave my apartment my 30 day move out notice. One of my neighbors had complained to management about me parking my car in a non parking spot and management told me that I couldn’t park there. My only other options were to park on the street (where my car has been stolen before) or park in another more safe neighborhood miles away. So I parked in a safe neighborhood, and it became crystal clear to me that my car doesn’t belong here anymore. I don’t belong here anymore. Final answer.

I have more work to do. There are still unfinished projects on the “to-do” list and people have been reaching out to me lately with new projects. I see that Dream Lover was really just a dream, and I’m finally ok with that. I think we both tried our very best and we both helped each other to see the areas where we still needed to grow so that we could accept our dreams coming true. I can let him go at last. Sometimes he still comes to me in my dreams and meditations and we have talks about the things we did and didn’t do. He is apologetic and I am compassionate. He never forgives me for things I did, though, but I say sorry anyway and I mean it. It’s enough for me, though, to know that there is life and happiness outside of him, outside of that particular dream.

There are other dreams that I’m not even aware of. In fact, there is more than dreams. There is reality. And here is where the work is done. No more dreaming that maybe, one day, at some time, life will be different. Let’s make it different in real life. Let’s do the work as if we actually believe that our dreams can and will come true. In real life. Like, for real for real.  Be honest with yourself. Do you really believe that you can have a love that lasts? I’ll be honest. I didn’t really believe it. I wanted to, but I didn’t really. But I am finally starting to believe it. For real for real. I am finally doing the work and doing the work and here is where the change is made. In our every day thoughts and actions. In our willingness to truly accept good things. In our daily practice of remembering and affirming and accepting and cleaning out all the old stuff, and taking tiny actions, our lives are changed.

In our willingness to love on purpose and be kind on purpose and give something on purpose in spite of all that may not try to knock us down, in our commitments to really be true to ourselves even when we think that we might not have a man or someone might leave us or people might think we are failures or ugly or whatever they can think us.

In our ability to take a bold stand for what we know is true, and express that to the world, the miracles are created. And the miracles are for all of us, if we will but choose them. And I choose them. I choose for my dream, my life, My Self to become my self. I choose to Know now that life is good, not in some dream, God, but in my waking hours. Not only in my head, but in my entire experience. I choose to be the good stuff, and I Know that I can do it, because I have seen it done already. I have seen the change already.

And every day I am waking up. And every day I am growing. I will not stop. My stubbornness is finally good for something. I will keep going and I thank you for this fortitude. I thank you and I thank you and I thank you again for all that is yet to come. Ameen.

Day 166

It’s An Every Day Thing

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From → The Good Stuff

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