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Day 146 – The World Is Waiting For You (Step Into Yourself)

June 25, 2012

So, I’ve been jotting my thoughts down over the past couple of days… I think I accidentally posted some of them…

I’m at Starbucks right now and Seal is singing a song. “I belong to you. You belong to me.”

Love on the mind. Kind of annoying. Thoughts of Dream Lover invading my work space, making me think that nothing else really matters. Repurposing. Restructuring. Recreating my identity. Re-evaluating life.

In a writing cocoon this week. Got a room in a fancy house so I could finish projects without distraction. Not far from Dream Lover. Really going to do it this time. No doubt.

Complete sentences not forming. Complete visions not clear. Only that this is the right place. Only that this is the right time. Only that everything that is happening is good. Great, even.

Everything is different. “Change, already”, You whisper to my spirit. This is your time. He is the one. You know this. Step into your life.

Overwhelmed. Underwhelmed. Excited. Scared. Thankful. Why does everything else seem so small standing next to Love? This is not like the movies. Choosing to change my perspective in this instant. Stop whining. See what’s really there.

Step into myself. I’ve been talking about it for a long time. It’s here. I’m here. Weird. Like I’m standing on the outside of me looking at me, sitting in this Starbucks, writing this blog, and my real self, my spirit, is saying, “Come on, now. Let’s fly.” My real self is excited about this time in my life. The time when I say I do. I will. I am. The time when I truly give from the core of all that I am and I truly accept from the core of all that life is.

It’s a tall order. A lifelong quest. A dream come true type of thing… But nothing else matters. How is it that after all this time, after this long journey and all this crying and self torment, I have come to this? Nothing else matters if you are not going to give from the life within you and receive from the life without you.

Lord, You know I have to pray a lot to accept these truths and let them wash away all of the stuff that I have been programming myself with for all these years, but I’m praying. I’m praying and You have been answering my prayers…

So, let’s get out of Starbucks. I’m going back home. Back to the cocoon. I have access to my heart again and I’d like to make some stuff to give to the world. From my heart. I’m not worried anymore. The right people will receive it at the right time. How am I not worried? I really believe that all I have to do is trust my instincts and act on them. I have already done the work to learn and hear your voice and I am still cultivating that part of myself. I also know when I can’t hear your voice and I am learning to sit still at those times.

This is a different way to live. It seems really strange in my mind, but I’m going to go with it. Just over the horizon. Trust your instincts. Just over the horizon, just in front of you, right on the other side of that imaginary veil is your dream life. The catch is, you have to walk towards it before you can actually see it. You are no longer afraid to walk, Laydie, but you have been wobbling, not sure if it is real. It’s okay. Wobble before you can walk, but now I want you to believe me. Believe it. It’s real.

The world has been waiting for you. We have been waiting for you to be yourself. You remember what your classmate said, “I can’t wait to see what you’re going to do”. She meant it. We have been waiting for you to be happy. We have been waiting for you to get over it. Just get over it. You can do it. We have been waiting for your love and your generosity and your strength. You have been waiting for your joy, so step into it now, okay? No rush. Just easy. Let all that other stuff go. You’re not a ghetto girl anymore, but you are still a ghetto girl… You are all of it. Do you understand?

Let’s do the Queen stuff now. Let’s do the giver stuff now. Let’s do the happy stuff now. Let’s do the leader stuff now. Let’s do the joy now. Let’s do the connectivity now. Let’s be alive, okay? OK. We have been playing “bad life” for so long. Let’s do the good life stuff now, Okay? OK…

I can’t wait…

Day 146

The World Is Waiting For You

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From → The Nitty Gritty

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