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Day 126 – Surrender To Life

April 20, 2012

I am trembling right now, amazed at how good life has become.

It’s 2:01 am. April 20, 2012. Today is my birthday. I spent the changing of the day talking to my sis and roomie #2 about how we can make things work as roommates. And then they hugged me and wished me happy birthday at midnight. I Love them. They Love me. Life is so good…

Just a few minutes ago, I got off the phone with a very old friend of mine, who I haven’t talked to in over two years. No. Wait. First let me tell you. During my conversation with my sis and # 2 tonight, we were discussing what our summer plans were, in regards to the apartment. I told them my plans, and I told them that ideally, I would have liked to go to overseas and work there for a bit, but I had made no plans in that direction, so I don’t know if and how that was going to happen.

OK. Then my friend whom I haven’t spoken to in years called me. He didn’t know it was my birthday today. He didn’t know about my ideal summer plans. He’s a writer, a publisher, and an independently wealthy business owner. To make a long story short, he asked me if I would like to come and visit him overseas this summer. He said he would buy me a ticket and he would give me a paid job at his publishing company if I like…

I’m sitting here wondering if I really am lucky. God says I am and that everything I ever dreamed of can come true if I let it… It’s just so much to swallow, you know? Where does that happen at? I’m going to say yes this time. I’m going to go to overseas and I’m going to go ahead and let this producer buy my script… Wow. I will be filthy rich by July, Insha’ Allah, if I just keep saying yes.

I have never been filthy rich before and I have never been a published writer before and I am so amazed because just yesterday the thought of being successful or of accomplishing my goals and being happy horrified me, but today I’m not afraid. I feel a peace and a calm in my heart as if this is the way it’s supposed to be…

God, this is real now. So, it’s my birthday and I cry if I want to, and I am crying, but they are tears of joy because life is real now. It’s not just a fantasy or it’s not just me hoping and wishing and dreaming about a thing. Things are happening. Life is changing. I am growing and getting over stuff and my world is responding to my birth. I don’t know where I will end up, but deep down, I know that it will forever be better than where I am, because I have chosen to live…

One day I will be able to take the things that are on my heart and make others understand them. One day we will all be able to communicate with each other on the deeper levels and we will find that all of the hatred and the fighting, all of the bitterness and the pain, the seeming need to validate ourselves and our beliefs by making other people wrong, all of it doesn’t matter.

It is so much better to be happy. It is so much nicer to tell the truth and be yourself. It’s so much more fun to be close to people instead of distant. It is so much more freeing to say sorry and forgive and make peace with people. It is so much more fulfilling to be in touch with your spirit, or whatever you want to call it, and it is so much easier, and much more rewarding, to do the work that you are being called to do on Earth… I am learning, God. You may have Your way with me now.

Breathing in this new day. Letting the joy take over. Surrendering to Life…

Day 126

Surrender To Life

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2 Comments
  1. Happy Birthday – we should all surrender more – great birthday post!

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