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Day 104 – What Will You Do Now

February 21, 2012

Good morning World!

Dream Lover is in town. It is going to be a sunny day today and I can see the sun coming over to this side of town. Life is good. I haven’t seen him yet, but he called me the other day from a number with this city’s area code. I asked him what he’s doing here, and he said he’s just gonna “hang out” for some time so we can get to know each other better.

Shocked and amazed and grateful. Suddenly willing to put my old shelf together and eager to make my writing works move a little faster. Put a mask on my face yesterday and watching my diet. I’m going to exercise this morning. Isn’t it amazing how one person’s presence can make you stand a little taller and another person makes you want to dumb yourself down and be less than you are?

I haven’t told him this yet, because I have to make him work to get me back, if indeed he is going to get me back, but just the thought of him being by my side makes me believe that anything is possible in life. I mean, for real. Like he will support me if I want to be a high power business woman or a house wife that doesn’t cook or clean. Except I would want to cook and clean if I was his housewife. We two could literally pick up and go live anywhere in the world or do any kind of work together and he would go with me if something was important to me… and I would go with him. He doesn’t care about money, but he has a bunch of it and he knows how to make it, but he could live in a hut in the middle of the woods and be just fine, and so can I.

To be honest, I have met some pretty impressive guys in the past few months and some have much more fancy resumes than Dream Lover in one way or the other, and they look better, but when he called the other day, I realized something. None of that matters. Is that what it means to Love someone? I know all of the negative things about him that are probably going to give me a headache at some point, but I don’t care. I am willing to help him be better. I am willing to forgive him. It’s not even an effort. It’s actually harder to stay mad at him than it is to forgive him. My life needs him and his needs me. Not in a desperate, grasping kind of way, but in a way that there is a thing in me that makes him come alive and there is a thing in him that compels me to stand up and be all of me, a woman and everything… I am so happy and thankful that he was stubborn enough not to let me go..

So, I let go now, God. If this is my Love (you say Yes it is), then I let it be. There are some lingering fears, worries and doubts in the back of mind, but, with your permission, God, I would like to take a break from my mind for a moment and revel in the Truth of this day. Permission granted, You say.

This is what Life is like on the other side, You say. You start the day not wondering how you can survive or make money or pay whatever bills. Lady, you have finally seen that you have never gone hungry a day in your life. Most of you haven’t. And so, your question is no longer about survival or how you can be someone or get somewhere. Listen very carefully now. You are already someone somewhere. Take some time to soak this up. He is already your husband. You are already a successful writer with a bunch of money. Your mom already has her fabulous house again and everyone is already proud of you. See it again. You are already smiling every day with someone who would give the world to you and you even have others in your life who love you, and you love them too. See it now. You do not understand this time thing, but it is OK. You do not need to understand everything to accept the Truth of things. So open yourself and allow yourself to be willing to accept the Truth of things you don’t understand and then you will be able to understand more Truth. Now again. Get out of your mind. See youself having the things that occupy so much of your brain space. All of this wanting. Have it now. Have Love. Have success. Have fulfilling relationships. Don’t run from it. Don’t think about it. Just have it for a moment. Indulge me. Stop denying that I exist. Stop denying that You can talk to me. Stop denying that You have asked and now you are receiving. You are not special, okay, if it makes you feel better. It is only that you have come as a warrior, willing to die for the truth, and you have died, even though you don’t see it, and I am giving you the Truth now, so receive it…

Now sit in your havingness. You are already successful. You already have a loving relationship with a man and family and friends that you adore. Sit in it… You’re sister just cooked you breakfast yesterday. Do you forget so quickly? Sit in it. Give the demons a break. Sit in this space of having. Now that you have it all, what will you do now? Now that you are no longer worried about all of this getting, how will You walk on My Earth? This is how you live from a place of creation. This is how you find your purpose. Start with having everything you ever wanted and ask yourself, “What will I do now?”, and then do it. You my Dear, are lucky. You already know what you will do and you have the health and energy to do it…. So do it. Today. Now. This is how you find Me, and you have found Me. Go now…


Day 104

What Will You Do Now?

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