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Day 81 – Have It

December 24, 2011

I am so thankful for today. The storm is over. The grief is gone.  Only a brief memory that it was there remains. It only took four days instead of four months, or four years like it has taken before…

I am laughing, God. I can see my smile. Thank you for this day. I am not alone. I have family and friends and even strangers that I love. Thank you. I even see new people, just across the horizon, bidding me to come and share in this thing called life. So thank you, God, for this day. A real day on the other side of happy.

It is a choice alone, the greatest gift. A choice. To be or not to be. To have or not to have. To give or not to give. To let go or to hold on. I never understood about this thing called free will, but I am understanding it more. Every single minute of every single day, we make a choice, and you, dear God, honor our choices. I have heard it before, but I didn’t really believe it, but as I look at my life, I see that it has always been true, even when my choices have been conflicting. On the outside I have chosen happiness, but on the inside I have chosen to be loyal to a sad past. The strongest choice always prevails….

So today, Lord, I am choosing to have it, All of it. Not in a greedy, selfish way, but in a real way. I am choosing to have it, if it is Your will, and I know it is. I am choosing to have it, not dream it, not want it, not talk about it. I allow myself to have it, the deepest of my deepest heart’s longings. I am choosing for them no longer to be longings, but to be realities. A soul mate. God, you know what that means. Purposeful work. A clear conscience. Love and light. The fulfillment of my destiny on Earth. I am choosing to have it all, God. Continuous guidance and the wisdom and strength to walk in the direction in which I am guided.

I choose to have it, God. I give myself permission, I give You permission, to have a Divine life. I choose to have it. I choose to have it now. Ameen.

Day 81

Have It

From → How To Blossom

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