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Day 74 – Be Yourself

November 27, 2011

I just wrote a whole 298 words going in one direction, but then I got a phone call and my mood has changed, so this is the second blog of the day…

Going deep within. Eyes closed. Somewhere in the midst of my efforts, happiness found me and it is taking over my life. Thankful. Strong. Powerful. Power is no longer a bad word. I’m becoming friends with humility. Being nice again. Being Loving again. I get to be nice again. Nobody told me. I get to be myself again, that little girl who liked to plan parties, that shy sweetheart that wrote poems in her journal, she has become brave. I am becoming myself, exploring all of me, not in the reckless, frivolous big-city kind of way, but in a gentle way, like a mother is with her child, knowing how to keep my heart safe, considering how I would like to grow and nurturing opportunities to blossom.

This is good times, God. You say the bad times are over and I say Yes, OK. I’ll take that with a glass of green juice, please. “Now that you have been through the fire”, You say, “It is your time to lead others through the fire as well. Don’t worry. I know you are still afraid of too much responsibility. I will send you those to help lead you, too, and assist on your path. You are finally open to my help.” I am overwhelmed with gratitude, God, to know that you are on my side.

The other day I went to a Thanksgiving event and I stood in front of a large group of people and gave a talk about what I was thankful for. When I came back to my seat, and throughout the event, people stopped me to thank me for what I said. I felt so glad that I had stood up and spoke. I was that woman. I was that woman that I’ve always dreamed to be: I was me! Strong, kind, beautiful, powerful and humble. God, I am stepping into my own shoes and it feels really really good.

So what do I have for them today, God? What do I have for you? (Excuse my tense and person shifts. I am writing to myself, God, and the reader and putting on paper the insights I receive as I write)… Just be yourself. Easier said than done, but easier done than you think. It can get messy, figuring out exactly who that self is, it can be scary if you have been living a lie and you have to come out of the closet with people who have gotten close to you based on a completely false identity, but it is liberating. It’s OK. People won’t like you. They probably don’t like themselves either, so why would they like you? They will talk about you while you are on your journey and then they will ask for help and advice once you’ve crossed over. Don’t take it personal. They are just being themselves and you don’t have to surround yourself with them.

I’m in love today, with no one in particular. I am in Love with life. Ashe Ashe.

Day 74

Be Yourself

From → How To Blossom

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