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Be Easy

July 30, 2011

I didn’t write last night. I went to sleep instead. It’s morning time and I usually write these late in the evening when the world is asleep, so this one will be short.

I wanted to write my ten pages and send out that query letter before I posting a new blog, since I said I was gonna do it,  but the beckoning of the bed was strong, and my day was long, so I went to sleep.

I forgive me. I hope you do too. I’ll do better today. I am learning to become a woman of my word. Part of that is being realistic about where you are in life so that you can accurately predict what you are willing and able to do. Lately, my hands tremble and I have trouble breathing whenever I make a forward move, so I recognize that I am experiencing some serious resistance to progress.

My intention and desire to move forward and live the life that I was designed to live are greater than anything else right now, so I’m sure that with God’s help, I will overcome these self-destructive patterns. But for now, please be easy on me.

I’ve been thinking about this whole thing about punishments and rewards, and will elaborate on it later tonight. Just a thought. Many of us look at our lives, especially when we are going through difficulties and say “oh, we must be being punished for this, that, or the other'”. Sometimes, however, our struggles are the foundations of the greater things to come and then in hind-site we say, “oh, that time in life was the biggest blessing I’ve ever had”.  How do you know the difference? Any thoughts?

I’ve got to go find a place to live, pack my things, and write a query letter, ten pages of a script, and maybe go to dance class, so I’ll get back later this evening. I guess this isn’t an official day day since I flaked out last night, so I won’t count it as one.

oh- I DIDN’T CRY YESTERDAY!!!

Be easy.

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