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Day Two – Help Is Everywhere

July 22, 2011

I didn’t cry today- at least not yet, but I almost did, and I was granted a small miracle.

But first, yesterday evening. I got off the bed and sat down at my desk in the corner of my efficiency apartment. I began to write. Not too much. Just a little bit. Just enough to get things moving. I wrote about a page’s worth of words and paused so that I could take my dirty clothes and put them in a washer. Just as I got up to leave, my phone rang. It was my former house guest whom I felt had abandoned me. He called to let me know that he was on his way over…
And so I didn’t cry today. But i almost did. I almost cried this morning on my way to work. I got booked on a gig doing background acting, and I had to report to work at 5:30 in the morning. I couldn’t find the studio for the life of me, and after walking around on foot in the rain in downtown L.A. for about an hour with no progress, I was resigned to just going home when I stumbled upon the entrance to the studio. It was an abandoned-looking building right where the bus had dropped me off an hour earlier. When I came to the gate, the guard told me that the entrance was only a vehicle entrance and that I had to walk about another mile to get to the pedestrian entrance. I told him that I had been walking for about an hour and that my feet hurt and he shrugged his shoulders. That was when i almost cried. The tears rimmed my eyes, but instead of crying, i turned around and said, “OK”. I took a deep breath and began my trek to the pedestrian entrance.
On my way there, I reminded myself that it was possible for me not to cry. I looked at myself and reminded me that this moment was not as tragic as it seemed. Sure, i was soaking wet, broke, late, embarrassed, and my feet hurt, but that moment was just one day in a life full of many days. Although these thoughts did not make me smile, they stopped my tears from falling.
The sympathetic, amused, eyes of the second security guard when i asked him where the bathroom was dried my tears completely, and when i looked at my disheveled hair in the mirror, i had to laugh. The producer’s assistant met me on the walkway and told me to get something to eat from their catered buffet before i started working. The wardrobe lady smiled at me and complemented my skin tone, and the icing on the cake, when I went to find a drink i discovered that they had my favorite juice, the one that i had just finished at home and i couldn’t afford to buy!
Day Two
Remember that help is everywhere, if you will only keep walking through the fog… Now I’m crying…
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