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Day 542 – Ease

October 2, 2020

They have a new thing going on with WordPress. Had to switch back to the classic editor cus I ain’t ready for all that.

I just wanted to touch bases with the world. This is my healing. My balancing. My centering. My dance. My gratitude. The roller coaster ride of my life is becoming a river, an easy stream. I am learning to relax into it instead of flailing around with fear. I am learning to surrender and be with ease.

I ate dinner with a friend last night. My People. A giant of a man. A kind, brilliant soul. He is my friend. He has never hurt me and serves as a reference point on how things can be with people. Easy. There can be trust. There can be a deep understanding of mutual goodwill and harmlessness.

I brought him some food. We prayed together and he spoke about the harvest and the harvest moon. Then we went outside in his backyard – there is a lemon tree there – and sat under the moon. We talked about life, just chatted it up. I was myself and safe and so easy. I was having such a good time with him. He hugged me. His hug is electric. Can’t hug too long or it will turn to sex and we have only ever been platonic friends. He is a magician of the best kind, transmuting through Love.

And this morning I am thinking about ease. I am thinking about being easy and loving and forgiving, as a way of life. I am thinking of joy as a way of life. I am grateful that I made it to this day, a day in my life where I can believe that it is possible for joy and Love and Ease to be foundations of my very being. I am grateful that fear is easing its grasp on me and I am becoming better. More kind. Some people can’t tell, but I know. I have a million gifts to give the world. I want to write poems. I want to hug someone and Love someone. I want to help people get out of these deep, deep, ugly feelings that usurp our lives and have us living like zombies for so long. Mostly, I want to laugh again and live with ease.

I’m excited. I have shirked my own power and responsibility for my life for so long. I’ve had my reasons… but I think you need to take all of you on these journeys, even the best of you. We are always focused on loving the worst of us and coddling our pains. But the best of us is important, too. The good things. My friend judges me all the time. Not the one I just wrote about. My Earth Guardian friend. He reads my blogs so he can judge me and call me self righteous. So I’m a bit self-conscious as I’m writing, so as not to sound self-righteous.

Life, thank you for this day. Thank you for this moment of interest in ease, joy, and good will. Oh, and especially Love and forgiveness. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.


Day 542

From → Identity Shift

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