Day 389 – For The Carriers (A Lesson On Letting Go)

I am broken-hearted and I come here to grieve. Someone I Love dearly is suffering. I tried to save her, but I could not, for she would not be saved.

It’s not my place to save. I know. But nonetheless, I tried… And now I am suffering. Because her pain has become my own. I know the things to do to heal myself, but she hasn’t come into the fullness of herself yet, and she just doesn’t know…

And so I come here to lesson my load. Because I have been carrying her pain, the pain that she doesn’t even feel. And I see why my brother stopped being in my life when I got in my first dysfunctional relationship. He just couldn’t bear to sit there and watch everything play out. It’s not the solution, but I understand him better now. It is hard to watch someone you Love do something that you don’t think is good for them and not be able to do anything about it… sigh…

I come here to lessen my load. This is the real work. This is the real initiation. I think I will do my best this time. We are all teachers and students, one of another. She has been one of my biggest teachers, one of my greatest students, my most crafty adversary and one of my best friends. She has been one of the greatest Loves of my life, an angel of sorts.

But I can not save her. Her story was supposed to have a happy ending, but I can not write it for her…

Can you tell I’m struggling with this? But I have to let it go. And I know that once I write it out loud, then it will be done. I will no longer feel her pain. I will no longer try to intervene in her life script and try to create a result. I will no longer be angry with the one who is causing her pain. There is an energy in everything. My protection over her will be gone and her perpetrator will feel it. And then what will he do to my baby? And who will she be once he is done with her? I want to threaten him. Fight him. Send him away. Show him that he can not take away my baby’s smile! I know him very well, for I see him when I close my eyes. I see the good in him, too… sigh..

When I close my eyes, I know that all of my threats, punches in the face, words, and actions, all of the things I could say or do to move this situation along will avail to naught. For they have chosen to journey together on Earth in this way at this point in time, for reasons unbeknownst to me. And until Your will is done to them through them, their journey will continue.

And so I close my eyes, Lord, but You say open them.

Open them, and with clear vision, release this situation to Me. Let My will be done. And trust, that in spite of appearances, My Will will be done. You have done your part. Yes, you have done your part. Next time, you will do better. It is hardest with the ones you Love, but remove your energy now. This is true letting go. Remove your energy. It’s not that you don’t care. It’s not that you wish good or bad.

-It is a thing that I am learning…

Remove your energy. Feel it. Let there be no intention towards the situation. Leave the rest to me. Know that you may think things should go a certain way and they may not go that way. Let go of the result. Let go of the need for things to go a certain way. Yes, even if you think she is suffering. Follow my Voice always. Do as I command always. Intervene if I command You, but refrain from intervention if I instruct you as well. You know the voice of Spirit within you. Listen keenly. I will instruct you on how to proceed. But do not think that just because you follow my voice, things will go in the way you predicted. They will most certainly not until you know the Truth in this lesson.

-It’s the hardest thing for me to do. Let go, You say. Release the burden I am carrying and give it back to you. What does that look like in real life? How does that manifest? I am so attached to things going a certain way…

Say to yourself, “I release the need for such and such to do such and such.” It is as simple as that. You are a pro at this kind of work, Laydie. Now it’s time to do the work on yourself. Today. Now. No need to carry this anymore. She Loves you. Don’t worry. She will always Love you. And she knows that you love her. And that is most important. And him? Well, he loves you, too. And even he knows that you love him. Release the need for anything to work out in any kind of way and just follow my Voice. This is not everyone’s way of living, Laydie, but it is your way. It has been working for you, not so? So use the tools I have given you to help navigate your way through confusion. I am a good God and your life is a good life. Trust me. Let the one you love find her own way to be in the world. We both know that the real problem is that neither of them knows who they are, nor have they found their way. So let them. And if they come to you for help or camaraderie, help and/or accompany them in the way you are Guided. And if you are Guided to stay away, then stay away. The lesson here is to Trust your inner Voice and leave the rest to me. Can you breathe now?

-Yes.

Can you think straight?

-Yes.

Good. Then let’s get on with living.

-Sigh… Ameen.

Day 389
For The Carriers (A Lesson On Letting Go)