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Day 337 – The Unknown

July 2, 2014

The days are going by. Less than a month before this is over.

I’m much better today. I prayed about it. It worked. Actually, it’s weird. It’s almost like the situation prayed about me. I wrote my blog last night, talked to a friend and then went to sleep.

At work I had to go meet with someone about job issues, so I didn’t spend much time at the office. Afterwards, I went to yoga class at my spiritual center, and then I went to my spiritual center. I didn’t ask God to fix such and such situation. I just got real quiet during the meditation and I opened. I just allowed myself to be open to whatever is trying to transpire in my life, and the prayer took me over.

Thoughts came and went. I still don’t know how things are going to play out with Mr. President. I still don’t know how anything is going to play out for that matter. But while sitting in the sanctuary, I didn’t need to know how everything would play out. I knew that everything would play out if I let it, and that was enough.

That is enough for me to not be angry tonight and for me to be somewhat peaceful in this moment. Men will be men, and I don’t like a lot of the experiences I’ve had with the men in my life, but the truth is, women must be women. Women must be women.

We have forgotten the power in our wombs and we have allowed the men to become what they are. If women would be women, then men would be men. It is so strange. I understand it until I start to think about it. If men want to lead, then it is up to us to hold them accountable for being people who are worthy of being followed.

Anyway, this entry is not about men or women or how we can get along. This entry is about what happens when you step into a new way of living. I am learning the process. There will be massive confusion, withdrawals, upheavals. There will be pain. And then, before you reconstruct your life, there will be a moment of time where you are in the unknown. That is where I am now.

This is where you learn the good stuff. This is where you find your religion again. If you think you don’t have the answers, it’s OK. You don’t. You’ve never been here before. How could you have the answers. Allow yourself the space and the grace to find your way. No need to force it. No need to worry about what everyone is going to say. This is your journey to freedom. You are charting new territory and when you get to the other side, trust and believe that the same people who were talking about you will be coming to you for advice. Just forgive them in advance. They don’t know any better right now.

But one day they will. One day you will. One day we will. One day the unknown will be known. But for now, I relax, Allah. I allow all of the broken pieces to come up and out of me. I just let the process and the prayer take me over, instead of trying to dictate how every single thing is supposed to happen every single time. I defer to a Higher Power. I defer to a Bigger Perspective. I cultivate a relationship with the Knower so that I may be able to distinguish the voice of truth from the voice of deception when I am in the unknown.

How long must I stay in the dark, she asked. Until you can see in the dark, he answered. Until you can see in the dark…

Day 337

The Unknown

From → The Alive Part

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