Day 188 – An Intentional Adventure

It’s a new day. A new dawn. A new life, as Nina Simone put it. I’m at my little sis’s place. We’re going to do the Thanksgiving thing with some other folks today. It’s good. I’m good. I don’t know how, but I’m good. No big outward events… Small things.

In my new writing class, we are learning about setpieces, significant moments that move a story forward. Sometimes the setpieces can be big, explosive encounters, and sometimes they can be small realizations while sitting at a dining room table at your little sister’s apartment. I’m really happy today. I saw my mom and almost all of my family this week, I spoke with and saw a couple of my long ago exes and talked to a few good friends…

You know the best thing about my new writing class? The way they go about writing a script. The don’t tell you to write a bunch of pages within the first week, like most other classes do. They focus on teaching specific tools that help you develop your characters and define your story, and they focus on in-depth planning and clarity, and once you have mastered those things, you can start writing your 99-115 page script. What a concept. In-depth planning. An intentional adventure. I had written the script I’m working on twice already, and I ended up having the same problems in each draft, and it only makes sense to work out the problems before spending a lot of time doing another draft. When the problems are worked out, the words just fill themselves in…

And that’s how I feel about my life right now. I feel like I have spent a lot of time working out the problems. I didn’t even realize that that was what I was doing with this blog. I mean, that was my intention, but as I go back and read some of the older entries, I see that that is what I have been doing. Cleaning up. Clearing things out. Figuring out what I’d like my story, my life, to be about. And things have become clear. I have done some in depth character development on myself and finally sorted out who I am and who I would like to be. I know what kind of dynamic character’s I’m around and also I know what kind I would need to be around to accomplish certain objectives. I am ready to write my story, the next part of my life, on purpose now.

How Not to Cry Every Day has been a reactionary journey, and it was necessary for me, and important, because that’s where I was when I started this blog. That adventure has been well worth it’s time, but the pain has finally been released. The confusion has cleared, and my vision has expanded to see that even in the midst of despair the opportunities for our lives our boundless. And so, for this part, I’m going to do like my writing class. I’m going to spend my energy doing intentional activities that could produce certain results, not just reacting to circumstances and bumbling along.

So here, we go. A new chapter. This should be exciting. I’m not afraid to go there now. All the way with my life. Nothing can really happen to me. Sure I can die, but what’s new? I can actually live, like experience those great things that I see in the movies. I can write the movies. I’m not scared anymore.

For my life, I am writing a hybrid movie. A romantic adventure, with hints of comedy and the supernatural. I’ve already outlined it. The story ends with the main character overcoming her misbehaviors and having all of her dreams come true. All of them. The setpieces are sprinkled with moments of profound connection and growth and Divine Joy. There are many dynamic characters throughout the story, but one or two constants… My life is my life again, God, and I am so grateful. The story is clear. The heartache is gone. The channels are open and the good is flowing through me again. And it’s not burdensome to be nice anymore. It’s a pleasure… Thank You, Thank You, Thank You.

Let’s go. Come with me, please. I hope to give you something that lifts you up. I hope to help comfort you. I hope to let you know that, “we’re in this together”, like the sweet girl in my writing class said the other day. I hope that you, too, make it to the other side, and all of the dreams that are good for you come true…

Ameen

Day 188

An Intentional Adventure