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Day 143 – Life Is What You Make It

June 15, 2012

Leaving town today. Thank you, God.

Sitting still for a moment. Taking some time to appreciate life. It truly is what you make it and it all starts with such a simple thought.

I have been meditating on joy and deep connection and thinking about the things that are really important to me from this point forward. I don’t feel like a kid anymore, or like a victim of circumstance, and I don’t feel stupid for being me anymore. I feel like a grown up. I’m starting to like myself. I’m starting to like my life. I’m starting to like life in general.

There’s not so much to say today. I don’t even want to talk about what my next adventure is. It’s kind of fragile right now and I’m a little nervous about it, because it’s actually everything I ever dreamed of, but I’ll tell you what’s going on once I feel like the seed is a little more firmly planted.

Suffice it to say that I am constantly amazed by how wonderful life can be. I am pleasantly surprised that I, too, can have peace and joy. I, too, can have deep soulful connections with people and smile from my heart. I, too, can do work that makes me come alive and that work can be a blessing to others. I, too, can be a recipient of blessings.

It’s not magic. It’s not only for smart people or good looking people or rich people or people in positions of power or virgins or people of a particular religion. Life is not only for those who have never seen pain or done something that they might be ashamed of. It’s for everyone. Me, too. You, too.

It’s been a long time coming, but I think I’m finally starting to get it. Life is bigger than me. God is bigger than me. It’s bigger than any trauma I have ever been through. It can forgive anything and start anew. Oh, it can lift you up higher than you ever imagined, and it can turn you into someone that you don’t even recognize anymore. Life can literally rain gifts down on you from places that you never dreamed of. It can heal your broken heart and give you a Love so real that you have to pinch yourself from time to time. It can bring you close to people once again and open your heart so big… Life can even move you into a new house or inspire you to clean up the one you’re in…

You have to let it, though. You have to get over all that stuff. All that sadness, all that confusion, all those stuffed up, blocked up beliefs, all that fear, all those people you hate, it doesn’t do us any good. Those big fat walls that we create to keep us safe from all that bad things “out there” often times only lock us in to a lonely place.

What I’d like to say today, what I’d like to write down in my journal and remember is that life is what you make it. It really is. Broke down poor or whatever. Alone, unhappy, blah blah blah. Whatever. You’re still alive. We’re still here. And we can either keep doing the same old stuff and crying and wasting our precious gifts by keeping them inside and killing ourselves with our horrible relationships and holding on to all these resentments and pains until we give ourselves tumors, or we can do something different.

Like the teacher at my spiritual center said, you’re gonna fail, someone is going to talk about you, and you’re going to die. So now that we’ve got that out of the way, let’s get to living. This life is such a blessing. Let’s make it good.

Day 143

Life Is What You Make It

 

 

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From → The Nitty Gritty

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