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Day 119 – It Will Pass

April 9, 2012

I didn’t post yesterday. It got that bad…

But today I’m feeling a lot better. I didn’t really do anything to make myself feel better. I tried. Reading and praying and exercising and hanging out with someone peaceful, but I still felt really down. The change happened in my sleep. I had a dream that I was a shape shifter who turned into butterflies and birds. Then, some kind of way, I was with my family and holding my brand new baby nephew. I was teaching him how to say words and he was picking up so quickly and saying them exactly like I taught him. I taught him how to say “movie” and “floor” and “wall”.

When I woke up, I could feel my heart beating again, like I’m alive. I had been feeling a little numb the past couple of days and couldn’t feel anything, but this morning, I feel alive. I think this is what they call Grace. Thank you for waking me up today with the feeling of peace of mind and clarity.

The storm has passed. Three days instead of three months. I’m getting better at this… There is nothing we can do about the weather. Storms will come in spite of our bests efforts. How could they not? We are living in a world with people all going through their own shtuff and if we step outside, it is inevitable that at some point we are going to butt heads with a storm that we may or not be prepared for or, just by being ourselves, bring a challenge to someone else… Whether or not we walk into these episodes unprotected, or go back into the house and wait it out, or get an umbrella, well, I guess those are the decisions that make up our lives…

No matter what we do, it will pass. I am grateful to be learning. The storms will pass. It’s just a matter of time.

Day 119

It Will Pass

  1. I tell myself that pain is the wrecking ball that breaks down the wall around me to let joy in – I hope the wrecking ball period is almost done for you, sending you warm thoughts.

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