Day 114 – Tune In

Sitting here until I feel connected to the truth. Small uprisings, the energy of others, a big check and a lot of small bills, the difference between love and like, the awareness of low and high energy, the realization of the profound effect that we all have on each other, croissants, unfinished lists, the beach, and everything that has led me to this moment are all on my mind.

In the midst of it all, God, all of this clutter, I ask you please for a space of cleanliness, where I can see the truth. Yes, you say. You will give it to me. Thank you. You say that I am not crazy for choosing the path of most resistance. In fact, I am brave and faithful. Thank you God.  I needed to hear that. You say that I am learning to hear Your voice and that as long as I continue to seek it, I will find Your guidance everywhere. You say that one day, very soon, even now if I had the faith to believe it, my life will be a reflection of Your voice.

You tell me to look around. I don’t need to go outside. Just look in my heart and in my mind and there I will find the medicine that transforms. You say that I am already changed, now I just need to act like it. I already have all that I am seeking. Now I just need to show my face. Is it really that easy, God? I know the answer already. It is. Then why don’t we all live this way? Because we don’t believe. We believe in our own power more than the power of the One who created the wind, not even realizing that the source of our power is a greater source that works for us effortlessly. But why have we bought in to this illusion? Because we like to feel like we are in control… You are right… I am done with trying to be in control, or at least I am willing to be done.

It took me all these years to come back to you, God. You say it’s OK, because even though I left you, you never left me. You have always been here waiting for me to see You again, waiting for me to see myself again. This is what Love is? Yes, You say. A part of it. Do humans do this? Yes, You say. Some of them. You say that I am not the only one capable of Loving in this way. There are others. I have known them. C. My mom… You say that the aliveness that I am feeling in my heart right now is just the beginning of the Love that I am yet to experience and I am overwhelmed by this thought. God I’m going to help so many people get out of the dark place that I was in. You know I am…

I am Loving this dialogue that we are having, God.

-Ask me anything.

What am I to do today as I walk on this Earth? I know the big things, my calling, if you will. It’s the little things that trip me up sometimes, like who to go around. Whether or not to come close to a particular friend or shut them out or even how much exercise to do in a day and whether to change my physical location or just make my place now a really comfy home. What to do about making more money quickly so I don’t have this burden of debt and bills and buying my mom a house in the back of my mind.. Do you understand? Whether to try and draw close to my brother again or just let him be. How to select a good mate. I’m embarrassed that this is the first time I’m actually asking you how to select a good mate…

You say that as I am growing, I will learn that I have known the answers to all of these questions all along, intuitively. I just haven’t listened. I have been afraid. Sometimes the answers don’t make sense in the context of the current social structure that I live in. Now that I have come to you clearly, now that I have decided to cultivate an awareness of the voice of truth within me, I will be able to recognize that voice more easily. And so you say to go back and ask myself all those questions again, this time tuning in to the truth. This time with the knowledge that the answers are all there and You will not forsake me.

-This time, when you have clarity, act on it. I know you are afraid of this massive change that you are so wonderfully participating in. Do not be afraid, and even if you are, walk anyway. Trust that I am with you. This is where you must strengthen yourself and you do so just like exercise. A little at a time. Take a small step to trust in something that you feel intuitively and act on that trust. Soon you will find that your intuition is My voice and it is always accurate. Tune in and find Me. Know that your companions are the pure of heart and seek them out. Be encouraged my Dear, Dear one and take heart. You are catching up. You are tuning in and your life is already good…

I am grateful for this day, God. Thank you so much… Ameen.

Day 114

Tune In