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Day 89 – Be Good To Someone

January 13, 2012

So today was really different than most of my days. I didn’t do too much. I had an early am appointment and then I spent the rest of the day with a friend, not doing much at all but talking and lazing around…

I’m happy, God. It came to my attention that there is more to life than work, career and self development. There is love, and that’s important too. Today I indulged in honest dialogue and openness. Somebody was nice to me and I was nice to him, with no hidden agendas or manipulation involved. The energy dynamic was clean.

It came to my attention that in all of my visions and prayers about the future and the life I would like to create, there is a lot of stuff about work and what I’d like to do in the world, but I don’t meditate much about a man or a family. I mean, I spend a lot of time trying to get over some man or the other that has disappeared on me or cheated on me or put some other woman ahead of me, but I haven’t spent much time envisioning myself having a happy, peaceful, trusting relationship and family with someone I Love… There’s always just me in my thoughts of the future, even though I say I’d like a relationship.

So today, I was blessed with a gift of a man who helped plant a seed in my heart and I thought again about the possibility of a family and a husband and just for an instance I thought that I might just be able to have that…

I am like a child being born again and you guys have no idea how wonderful it is to have hope,  to remember the things that make you come alive, those things that you have buried so deep that you don’t even know they are there. To remember them, and then to actually think that they are possible again, that is a gift!

And so I know that I am changing, because life is changing.

You smiled at me today. You looked in my eyes and your gaze was so sincere. No holding back, no wanting, no insecurity. You were just you, and you were not afraid. You bought me flowers and didn’t try to get in my pants. You asked how my day was and waited and heard me when I answered. You didn’t say let’s have sex. You didn’t say let’s get married. You said, let’s take it slow. While we are figuring it out, let’s be good to each other. You said let’s be good to each other when you helped me clean up and you opened the door for me. You said let’s be good to each other when you told me the truth about your life and asked me about mine. And you know what? Those words were like manna from Heaven. Better than “I Love you”. Better than “I need you”. Better than all the compliments and any other gift you could have given me. You chose to be good to me and you helped me remember. I know you don’t understand. It just comes natural to you. But you are cleaning my heart out and helping me to remember that men can be good, that Love can be a good thing, that even I can have an actual good thing. So thank you. I’d like to thank you now, while it’s happening. For choosing to be good to me. Thank you so much.

Ameen.

Day 89

Be Good To Someone

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From → How To Blossom

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