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Day 14 – Lean on God

August 8, 2011

Wow. Today has been quite exciting.

I haven’t gone anywhere, but have just been sitting in my little apartment praying and meditating most of the morning.

A guy i like called me this morning and told me that he wanted to talk to me later this evening… He’s a really good friend (and a cutie!)and i kind of have a crush on him, but i wonder what i’d do if he wants to be more than friends. Yikes!

The thought that my ex might actually show up at my doorstep any second and make good on all his fantastic promises is still lodged somewhere in my brain and I’m afraid to start something new, especially with this guy, because he’s so sweet i’d probably never break up with him, and i’m pretty sure that at some point, ex is gonna come back.

Dilemna indeed. What do you do when you don’t know what to do? Nothing or something… It’s been my experience that once I decide to put the past behind me,  the rest is easy. The hard part is making the decision that you never want to be with someone again, or accepting that you’re never going to be with someone again, even though you might have really Loved them more than anything in the world. How do you do that when you Loved someone?

This is what i’m going to do. I’m going to give this over to God and continue to do the things that I am clear about. I finally know what that means. I have come out of enough storms in my life, without thinking myself through them, to have reason to believe that there is a power greater than me that can solve any problem. I have reason to believe that God wants our lives to be good lives, even great lives. I have reason to believe that God is for us and not against us.

With that in mind, I’m going to lean on God and give this decision over to Him, because it’s an important decision, choosing who you are going to spend the rest of your life with. I have already decided that I am making a commitment to living my purpose here on Earth, now I am choosing to accept a life partner who is perfect for me in every way, whatever that means. I allow myself to have clarity on this matter, and I thankfully and humbly allow you to do the work, God. Ameen.

Day 14

Lean on God

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