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Day 21 – Testify

August 23, 2011

I went to work at my education job and was surrounded by young folks today, and now I’m sitting at a college writing this blog.

I Love young people: they are so alive. I’m not a young person or an old person, I’m at that age where people start giving up or living up. You know, the 25-35 year-olds…  Today i feel full of life and promise, like the kids walking around this campus with their lives ahead of them or the little girl who smiled at me at the school today and told me to “have a nice day”.

My fire is lighted. I lit it for real right around the time i started writing this blog, and i am glad that it is still burning.

From now on, I’m going to write these in the morning. I have written them in the evenings, midday, midnight, mornings, etc., but i think there is something to be said about reflecting and setting an intention before you walk out of the house in the morning. It helps to guide the path of your day.

The cobwebs are clearing up. I can feel it. I made it through the storm. I know it. I feel strong. Heck, I am strong. I am strong. I admit it.

I have always been afraid, prior to now, to announce the good things about myself. Like i thought it would make me seem arrogant or proud or i thought that maybe people wouldn’t like me and they’d hate on me if i was too good at one thing or another or i thought that maybe i wouldn’t have any friends or a man if people thought I was too good. When i look at it now, it doesn’t make any sense. One part of you says you want to be (happy, successful, spiritually aligned, at peace, etc.) and the other part says it’s not ok to be that way. Internal conflict=stagnation=confusion=backwards movement=death=internal conflict=stagnation=confusion. You get the drift. It never occurred to me that there are people who rejoice in the success of others. I’m letting that thought cook…

I am moving tomorrow. Forward. To a new apartment. I’m going to bathe it in rose oil and get a comfy bed and that makes me so excited. I’m going to finish my script and it’s going to become a movie that inspires and helps a lot of people. I am going to help a lot of people in my life and I am becoming a spiritually aligned, peaceful, powerful. loving, kind, happy, wise, successful woman… These things are hard for me to say, by the way, but I have to say them to get over the fear of stepping into the fullness of who i am.

Let the haters come as they may. You got to open your mouth, you got to stand up, you got to fight and say “YES, MY LIFE IS A GOOD LIFE. AND WHAT?” We are all starving to know, to believe, that goodness is real, that it is OK to live this way.

There is a place in Spirit where you are protected, supported, and Loved. I’m going there…

Day 21

Testify

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